Queen - Series 1: Star Formation - Act 6

Act 6: The King of Queen

Prologue:
The four members of Queen were each very passionate about what they believed in, so arguments were commonplace, always varying in intensity. Surely none of their arguments had ever come to this, but for both creative and comedic purposes, we are going to say that they did at one point, early in their career.

Scene I: The Theater, a month or two after the events of Act 5
Freddie Mercury opens the doors to the lobby to find his friend and fellow band mate John Deacon waiting outside the door to the theater. Freddie approaches John and gives him a questioning look.
“What’s going on, here?” Freddie asks. “Are you waiting for something?”
“In a manner of speaking, yes.” replies John. Freddie notes a hint of anxiety in his voice. “Roger and Brian are fighting and I don’t want anything to do with it.”
Freddie pauses for a moment and suddenly makes out the sounds of muffled yelling on the other side of the door to the theater. He gingerly presses his year up to the wood and tries to make out the argument. He manages to pick up words like “stubborn,” “ridiculous,” and “your mum last night,” but not enough to make out a coherent conversation. He finally pulls away from the door and with a determined hair flip says to John, “I’m going in—if I’m not out in five minutes, call the police.” He then throws open the door and waltzes into the theater just in time to narrowly miss Roger Taylor’s drum set as it hits the wall behind him.
Freddie quietly looks over his shoulder at the drum set, which had been destroyed on impact with the wall. He then looks back at Roger and Brian May as they both stare incredulously at the ruined drums and then at their lead vocalist as all three take in what had just happened, as well as what could have happened.
Finally, Freddie speaks. “What the [BLEEP]??!!”

Scene II: The Theater lobby, a few minutes later
Suffice to say, Freddie was not at all happy about being nearly killed by Roger’s drum set, which Roger had thrown in a blind rage, so he gathers the rest of the band around
for an emergency meeting in the center of the theater lobby.
“Okay, this is starting to get out of hand.” he begins. “We’ve been fighting like a bunch of cats and dogs nonstop this past month and it needs to end before one of us really gets hurt.”
“Right,” says Brian. Roger and John also voice their agreement with Freddie.
“I say we need a leader; someone who will take charge of a situation and calm everyone down before things get too out of control—someone like me.”
“Now wait just a minute!” Brian splutters. “What makes you think you’re even remotely qualified to be leader?”
“‘Cause I’m the lead singer,” Freddie replies, nonchalantly. “So naturally, I ought to be leader, right?”
“Wrong!” says Brian. “Leadership is not based on position, alone. It’s based on skills, as well. Frankly, if anyone should be leader, it should be me!”
“Why you?” Roger demands.
“Because I’m smart, authoritative, and logical.” says Brian. “Some things that some people may not be….”
“Excuse you?!” Freddie cries.
“I say a leader should also be compassionate,” says John.
“I can be compassionate, too,” Brian replies, defensively.
“Oh please,” Freddie scoffs. “You have all the compassion of a bloody cactus!”
The four then spends nearly five minutes exchanging insults with one another. Finally, Roger speaks up.
“Clearly, we cannot simply vote for who should be leader,” he says. There is a trace of an edge to his voice that forces the other three to listen. “So there’s only one way to settle this—we’ll all have to fight to be leader.” The other band members murmur amongst themselves before realizing that that seems to be the only option left. “We will all four compete in a series of events that will test both our brains and our brawn,” Roger continues. “And with the help of an unbiased referee, we shall determine the victor and, therefore, the true leader of Queen.”
Brian shrugs. “I suppose that’s the only way, then,” he says.
“Then it’s settled.” says Freddie. He then stands up, the other band members following suit. “Next week, we shall meet at the local gym and compete against one another to see who shall be ‘The King of Queen!’”

Scene III: The gym, one week later
For the event, Freddie had gone and enlisted the help of the most reasonable, unbiased person he knew—his younger sister, Kashmira Bulsara—to act as referee, a position she reluctantly agreed to take. Over the course of one week, the four band members trained both mentally and physically for the event, preparing themselves for whatever could possibly happen in the race to become “the King of Queen,” as Freddie called it.
Finally the day comes, and Roger, Brian and John are all standing outside of the gym doors dressed in workout clothes, eagerly and impatiently awaiting the arrival of their fourth member and their referee.
Brian looks up at the clock tower again. “What is keeping those two?” he huffs.
“There’s being fashionably late and then there’s just being an arse.” Roger mutters.
“Yes, and I’d say that Farokh falls into the latter category,” Brian replies, spitting out the birth name of his lead singer as if it left a bitter taste in his mouth.
In the distance, John spies Freddie’s car turn the corner and alerts his band mates. Once the car pulls up in front of the gym, Freddie appears dressed in bright yellow shorts and a pink tank top. His three other band mates stare at him. John tries to suppress the urge to laugh.
“Did you lose a bet that we didn’t know about or something?” asks Roger.
Freddie cocks his head. “What’re you talking about?” he asks.
“We’re talking about how you look like strawberry and lemon macaroons stacked on top of one another.” Brian replies.
Freddie folds his arms across his chest and scowls. “You’re just jealous that my gym clothes are more fabulous than yours,” he declares.
“Is that what they call it nowadays?” asks Brian.
“Call what nowadays?” Freddie demands.
“Never mind.” Brian turns and walks toward the gym. “Let’s get a move on, then,” he calls out. “The sooner we start, the sooner we can make me leader of the group.”
“Hold on a minute, Brian!” Kashmira calls out. Brian flinches, unaware of her presence until now. “All four of you stand equal chance at becoming King of Queen. In the end, I’m the one who will be deciding.”
Brian looks over Kash’s shoulder at Freddie. “You made your sister our referee?”
“She may be my sister, but she’s the least biased person I know.” Freddie replies.
Brian looks back at Kash and gives her the “I’m watching you” hand signal, turns and enters the gym. The other four follow suit.

Scene IV: Inside the gym
The gym is virtually deserted, save for our four bickering heroes, their reluctant referee, and a few curious staff members. The group walks out onto the indoor race track, where various stations have been set up to test one’s mental and physical capacity. The four boys look around the room until Kash clears her throat and they form a line and stand at attention.
“Strength, intelligence, compassion, and authority,” Kash begins. “These are all the qualities that make a good leader. All four of you claim to have all four of these qualities, but today we are here to see if that is true.” She points to each of the stations as she mentions them. “We will start with a scenario test—I will describe different situations and you must say how you would react to each situation. A point will be given to the one with the best answer. Afterwards, you will go over there and I will ask you various questions regarding different subjects—math, history, and literature. A point will be given for each correct answer. Finally,” Kash gestures to the track itself. “All four of you will take part in an obstacle course race, to test how well you can react to extreme situations, and how quickly you can run to the aid of your fellow band members. Five points will be rewarded to the one who crosses the finish line first. Understood?”
“Yes, ma’am,” the boys reply in unison.
Kash leads the quartet over to the first station for the scenario test. She lists ten hypothetical situations that the four boys must answer. At first, Brian believes that he has this test in the bag, but much to his surprise, he finds himself tied with Freddie with three points each, while Roger and John both have two points.
Kash then ushers the quartet over for the next test. John and Brian excel on the math questions, while Freddie and Roger are in their wheelhouses in the literature and history portions, respectively. In the end, all four members of Queen are tied.
Kash guides them to the starting line on the track.
“Based on your current scores, the title of leader is still anyone’s to win.” she says. She then goes over the rules and guidelines of the race; no physical contact with the other racers, no trash-talking, no sabotaging, etc. She then marches over to the sidelines where she’s rather surprised to discover the small audience consisting of staff members and curious gym patrons that has formed over the duration of the trials. She then turns back around to face the four racers and pulls out a stopwatch and holds it up. Someone silently offers her a gun to signal the start of the race, which she takes thankfully.  She holds the gun above her head and fires it, sending the four in a mad frenzy to reach their prize.

Gimme the Prize
Made famous by Queen
“Here I am, I'm the master of your destiny,
I am the one the only one, I am the god of kingdom come,
Gimme the prize, just gimme the prize,
Give me your kings, let me squeenze them in my hands,
Your puny princes,
Your so-called leaders of your land,
I'll eat them whole before I'm done,
The battle's fought and the game is won,
I am the only one,
I am the god of kingdom come,
Gimme the prize, just gimme the prize,
Move over, I said move over,
Hey, hey, hey clear the way,
There's no escape from my authority—I tell you—I am the one the only one, I am the god of kingdom come,
Gimme the prize, just gimme the prize,
I am the only one,
I am the god of kingdom come,
Gimme the prize”

The quartet barrels down the track, climbing over walls, jumping over hurdles, running through tracks of tires laid out, until finally they reach the last stretch of the race, where the only obstacle needed to be cleared is the seemingly endless space between the four of them and impending victory. Finally the finish line doesn’t seem so far away. Freddie, John, Brian and Roger muster up what little physical and mental strength they have left and jump at the finish line. Kash runs over to the four boys to make sure they’re alright.
Freddie looks up at his sister and gives her a hopeful smile. A huge road rash glistens on his cheek where it made contact with the track. The other members of the band are in just as bad shape. “So who one?” he pants.
Kash inhales. “It’s a tie.” she says.
All four boys look up at her. “What?!” they all ask, incredulously.

Scene IV: The bleachers
As they’re each being patched up, Kash explains to the group how she’d seen all four of their hands land on the finish line as they jumped at it in their blind flash of aggressive determination. They all four look at each other; look at the pain their delusions of self-superiority has inflicted upon themselves. Brian then sighs.
“All this just ‘cuz Roger threw his drum set at you,” he says to Freddie.
Freddie smiles, which hurts his road rash a little bit. “Maybe none of us are fit to be leader,” he says.
“Or maybe you all would be better off as equals—no one member above all the others?” Kash replies.
“Yes,” says Brian. “Yes, perhaps that could work,”
“We each could take turns writing music for the band,” says John.
“And we would all make unanimous decisions,” Roger adds.
“As long as no one tries to kill me with their instruments, anymore, I’m fine with that!” says Freddie. They all laugh.
After the laughter dies down, Freddie stands up. “I say we ought to celebrate this turning point in the band with a drink.” he says.
“I take it you’re paying?” asks Brian.
“I am if I lose the rematch race,” Freddie replies with a devilish grin.
Brian returns his smile and heads down to the race track with Freddie as Roger, John and Kash chase after them.

Don’t Stop Me Now
Made famous by Queen
Freddie: “Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive
And the world, I’ll turn it inside out, yeah
I’m floating around in ecstasy so

Freddie, Brian, Roger and John: “Don’t stop me now
Don’t stop me ‘cuz I’m having a good time,
Having a good time

Freddie: “I’m a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger, defying the laws of gravity
I’m a racing car passing by
Like Lady Godiva, I’m gonna
Go, go, go,
There’s no stopping me
I’m burning through the sky, yeah
200 degrees, that’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit
I’m traveling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Freddie, Brian, Roger and John: “Don’t stop me now

Freddie: “I’m having such a good time
I’m having a ball

Freddie, Brian, Roger and John: “Don’t stop me now

Freddie: “If you wanna have a good time
Just give me a call

Freddie, Brian, Roger and John: “Don’t stop me
‘Cuz I’m having a good time
Don’t stop me
‘Cuz I’m having a good time
I don’t wanna stop at all

Freddie: “Yeah, I’m a rocket ship on my way to Mars
On a collision course
I am a satellite I’m out of control
I am a sex machine ready to reload
Like an atom bomb about to
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, explode!
I’m burnin’ through the sky yeah
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit
I’m traveling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic woman of you

Freddie, Brian, Roger and John: “Don’t stop me, don’t stop me,
Don’t stop me
(Hey, hey, hey!)
Don’t stop me, don’t stop me
Ooh, ooh, ooh
(I like it)
Don’t stop me, don’t stop me
Have a good, time good time
Don’t stop me, don’t stop me

Freddie: “Oh, let loose, honey!
Alright
Oh, I’m burnin’ through the sky yeah
Two hundred degrees
That’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit
I’m traveling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Freddie, Brian, Roger and John: “Don’t stop me now

Freddie: “I’m having such a good time
I’m having a ball

Freddie, Brian, Roger and John: “Don’t stop me now
If you wanna have a good time
Just give me a call
Don’t stop me now
‘Cuz I’m having a good time
Don’t stop me now
Yes, I’m havin’ a good time
I don’t wanna stop at all
La da da da daah
Da da da haa
Ha da da ha ha haaa
Ha da daa ha da da aaa
Ooh ooh ooh…”

Due to their sports-related injuries and their fatigue, the quartet collapse from exhaustion only half-way down the track. Freddie starts laughing in spite of himself, while Brian, Roger and John follow suit. Freddie then forces himself to his feet, and when he’s finally stood up, offers his hand to Brian, who takes it happily. They then turn around and help Roger and John to their feet.
“We’ll split it,” says Freddie. The others nod in agreement.
Queen exits the gym and makes their way to the pub for a well-earned drink.